Day 24, 25, 26 and 27 of Thankful....

24- HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!! Today is the day! Family, food, laughs, possible a cry, lots of love, .... the day we slow down and take time out to be with our loved ones. Cherish it, hold on to it, enjoy the moments ..... have a wonderful THANKSGIVING!!!! Today I am thankful for THANKSGIVING DAY!!!! Oh I love it!!!! ♥



25- So thankful for the new addition to our family. Thankful that her and Mommy are healthy and doing great. Congrats Jason and Kayla!



26-  It all started with my husband taking me EVERY Sunday because he knew my Daddy wanted me there and he wanted to make my Daddy happy. It grew from there.... without me really noticing at first. I noticed that peace I felt when I walked through the doors. I didn't feel that anywhere else ... no matter what was going on, going through those doors made a difference. I told my husband one night on t...he way home from church that I wanted that peace all the time. And that was the start of a beautiful relationship. I'm sure it had already happened before that, but at that moment I made up my mind that I was going God's way. I am thankful for my church. I'm not talking about the walls, carpet, windows and chairs(even though it is very nice). It's my church family (which extends beyond the walls of my church). It's the peace, strength, anointing, the change, that thing that words cannot accurately describe .... it's where I fell in love with Jesus.



27- I am thankful for the ladies I have met at the nursing home. I go in hoping to bring a smile, some encouragement .... just wanting to make a difference in someones day. I leave feeling like I'm the one that has been encouraged and uplifted ....and with a grin from ear to ear. There isn't a day I leave that my heart doesn't feel completely overwhelmed. I'm thankful for my new friends ... so very thankful.

Day 18 of Thankful....

I LOVE spending time with my family! I LOVE family time. It's my comfort zone. I am so thankful for my family .... all of my family. Grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins ... I'm so proud of my family. <3

Click here to see blog post from April 2010 .... ~FAMILY~

Day 14 of Thankful....

Day 14 of THANKFUL.... I am thankful for love.... real love.  The part that can't be completely defined.... only felt with the heart.




-1 John 4:19-We love him, because he first loved us. <--- and this is where LOVE begins. :)

Day 10, 11 and 12 of THANKFUL.......

Here goes.... catching up on thankful post.




I'm thankful for God's hand of protection. -Psalm 91:11- For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.



I am very thankful for everyone who has served our country. You were willing to put your life on the line for our freedom. I appreciate your service for 'one nation under God' .... God Bless the USA.



I am thankful that the God loves me. I'm thankful that He sent His only begotten Son, so that I can have eternal life. I'm thankful that He takes the time to touch my heart and that He allows me to walk into His presence. He didn't have to love me, but He did.... He's CRAZY about me and I'm sooooo thankful!

~Fruit~

1 John 4:1

Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.

I have read Galations 5 a few times and always see these huge words listed with the works of the flesh. I always tell myself that I need to look those words up so I will know exactly what they mean and I finally did. So for all of you that are like me (a little slow), here ya go. My definitions came from http://www.webster-dictionary.net

I want to be filled with the fruit of the spirit. I do not want to be a hindrance or a stumbling block to anyone on this journey. I want my heart to be right that others may see and want to know Jesus. I need my heart right, so I can be a help to those in need and to those searching for the answer. When I allow this flesh to get in the way, I want to be quick to repent and keep on going. There is NOTHING worth missing heaven.

Galations 5:19-26

Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.

Lasciviousness - The state or habitual condition of feeling an excessive or morbid sexual desire.

Variance - Difference that produces dispute or controversy; disagreement; dissension; discord; dispute; quarrel.

Emulations - Jealous rivalry; envy; envious contention

Seditions - Dissension; division; schism

Heresies - Religious opinion opposed to the authorized doctrinal standards of any particular church, especially when tending to promote schism or separation; lack of orthodox or sound belief; rejection of, or erroneous belief in regard to, some fundamental religious doctrine or truth; heterodoxy. - An offense against Christianity, consisting in a denial of some essential doctrine, which denial is publicly avowed, and obstinately maintained.

Revellings – To feast in a riotous manner; to carouse; to act the bacchanalian; to make merry. To move playfully; to indulge without restraint.

Luke 6:44

For every tree is known by his own fruit. For of thorns men do not gather figs, nor of a bramble bush gather they grapes.

~Merry Christmas~

I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. I can't believe it is here already. I love this time of year. We even have snow on the ground! We actually had about 2 feet of snow, so that means snow for Christmas! We made a giant snowman. My hubby was the master mind behind the snow giant. It is the biggest snowman I have ever seen, so I had to include a picture. I love the snow. A fresh fallen snow represents purity to me. It covers everything. Just like the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all of our sins.

I want to share a very well know verse with you. Jesus is the reason we celebrate Christmas. It may not be the exact day he was born, but it is the day we set aside to remember that God loved us so much he sent us Jesus, his only begotten son. "For unto us a child is born..." Don't forget to celebrate Jesus!

~~~~~~~

JOHN 3:16

For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

~~~~~~~

I also have to include some of the conversation Thomas and I had tonight. He had a bad dream a few nights back. So, the night after the bad dream when we said our bedtime prayers we prayed that Jesus would not let him have bad dreams. When I tucked him in tonight he told me he didn't want me to have bad dreams. I told him I wouldn't and I asked him if he had anymore bad dreams since we asked Jesus to take them away. He said so sweetly, "I not have bad dreams. Now Jesus has bad dreams." My first thought was he is only 3, he just doesn't understand and I was getting ready to try to explain, but then it hit me like a ton of bricks and I almost cried. Of course, Jesus isn't 'having' bad dreams, but he does have them. He took it, so therefore, he has it. I hope this makes sense. You see he bore all of our infirmities, all of our sins, our sickness, our weakness, our mind battles, our bad dreams. He took it all as his own. You name it, he paid the ultimate price for it. So when we ask him to take it, he does.

I'm Taking Back My Mind!

As I journey thru this land

There is but one who understands

All the troubles and the trials I go thru

There is one way up above

Looking down in peace and love

And he tells me that I am born again

We got a phone call yesterday morning with bad news. I almost instantly went into a battle of my mind. It seems like for the last year and a half it has been on thing after the other with my family. This morning I just wanted to hide away from it all. I know things happen and it’s called life, but man can we get a break? I want a decent lengthy break from the emotional roller coaster of sickness, surgeries and death. I looked only at the bad and it overwhelmed me. It all started last June when we got the phone call that my cousin passed away in a car accident. I stood at his grave and literally felt like a part of me was being buried with him. The same Saturday I came home, my second son (who was 5 weeks at the time) was admitted to the hospital and had surgery that Sunday to cut a muscle around the valve connecting the stomach to the intestine. The muscle was too large and stopping the stomach from emptying. He was throwing up everything he ate. Within a few months time, my mom had major surgery and I couldn’t be there because my son and I were both sick. My Grandfather had a stroke and ended up in surgery. One of my Uncles ended up having a total of 3 surgeries with a very long recovery process. My Aunt had a mass removed from her thyroid. My husband’s step Grandmother passed away. My Grandmother got a report of cancer and had to have surgery. The day before yesterday we got a call that another Uncle of mine had been burned badly. So bringing us up to date was the report yesterday morning of my Great Uncle getting a bad report, which we are still praying about. These are some major things that happened within my family. I don’t think I have left anything out. There were even more that involved our church family. So, as you can see an emotional roller coaster. I know I am not the only one. It seems like all around people are having the same type of circumstances.
Every piece of bad news I get, it brings back all the things that have happened and that feeling of helplessness and that feeling of being overwhelmed seems to get greater with each thing and this morning it was almost like I could break under the load. A load that I hadn’t even really noticed being so heavy until I fed into this mind battle. Grant it, it is in the back of my mind and to be completely honest it has gotten to the point that I dread hearing my phone ring at times because I am afraid it will be more bad news and I just don’t know what I am going to do or how I am going to deal.
I got to church and the sermon was on having peace and rest within, even when things seemed to be falling around you. It was reminding me of what I already new, but wasn’t focusing on. With every trial, I can say that inside there was a peace and a sense of calm even when part of me felt like it didn’t know which way to turn.
I came home and the DVDs I ordered of the ladies retreat had come in so I had to watch one and the sermon was about the journey and it related this Christian walk with the climbing Mount Everest. The process that people have to go thru to get to the top and how it isn’t as much about reaching the top as it is about your journey (or the climb). How during this journey you find out who you really are down deep inside. I wish I could load the DVD on here because I know I am not doing it justice.
You see, my focus went straight to the bad and that little voice saying “It’s never going to stop. There will never be an end to the bad news. You aren’t going to be able to take much more.” My biggest battle is with myself. Trying to overcome my own thoughts and taking control of my mind. Where should my focus have gone? Seeing how most of the storms have passed, I should have reminded myself of how my God saw me through each one.
My son is now 19 months and eats like a champ. Even during the battle, the doctor couldn’t explain to me why he had gained 4oz instead of losing since the ultrasound clearly showed nothing getting past his stomach. That night in the ER I felt a strength come to me that was not of myself. A surgery that they said would last 2 hours including recovery, only took 45 minutes (including recovery). We have since had our 3rd son who is a growing healthy boy. My mom, aunt, uncle, granddaddy and grandmother who had surgeries are now doing great. My Grandmother was told after surgery that they got all the cancer, so she is now cancer free. She is still recovering, but that is to be expected because it has only been 3 weeks since surgery. My Granddaddy had a stroke while visiting his sister. He couldn’t speak when it happened. My Granny and his sister went to praying and speaking in tongues and by the time the ambulance got there he was talking again. He came through surgery. He didn’t have to have any type of therapy. His voice was weak for awhile and they weren’t for sure if it would come back, but it did. Of course it did! You see my Granddaddy sings, testifies and prays at church and how could he keep doing that if God didn’t give him his voice back? I have a promise that I did not say my final good bye to the ones I love. I have a promise I will see them again because even though I don’t understand, I trust that the God I serve has it all under control. He knows what He is doing. My uncle that got burned is home now and is in pain, but things could have been a lot worse. The doctor told him he was a lucky man. They call it lucky, we call it blessed. Things with my Great Uncle are still up in the air and we are praying. There is no doubt that God has been with us through it all.
He has been our refuge, strength and our strong tower. One thing is for sure, the trials may not end here, but they will end one day. The devil will not take our faith; each step is bringing us closer to our Creator. Jesus is the only one we can completely depend on. Our trials are giving us testimony after testimony of what God can do and showing others that with God on our side we can make it through anything. Things happen in life to Christian and non Christian. It rains on the just and the unjust. I don’t want to do this journey without my Savior. I’ve tried, it doesn’t work and I don’t want to do it without Him again. I don’t have all my hopes set on this life. I am becoming more and more homesick for a city whose builder and maker is God. A land with no more parting, no heartache, sorrow, pain and no tears! All will be peace forever more at the feet of Jesus! Oh what a day that will be!
~
What a day that will be
When my Jesus I shall see
And I look upon His face
The one who saved me by his Grace
When he takes me by the hand
And leads me thru the Promised Land
What a day, glorious day, that will be!
~

Philippians 1:6 (Whole Chapter) Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

~
Jeremiah 6:16 (Whole Chapter) Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls.

~
Hebrews 11:10 (Whole Chapter) For he looked for a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God.

~Mercy~

From Genesis to Revelation the Bible shows us example after example of His mercy. His mercy truly endures forever. The old testament tells of the mercy seat that sits on the ark of the covenant. I looked up some information on the mercy seat because my heart is so thankful for his mercy. I found that in different languages the word mercy seat means different things, but they all come back to God's unending love for us. Some of those translations were: A seat of grace or location of grace, a thing of wiping out or cleansing, a thing for propitiation. The meaning of propitiation is an atoning or restoring sacrifice. In the old testament the blood of certain animals sprinkled on the mercy seat by the High Priest reconciled God's anger and wrath. In the New Testament Jesus came to be the ultimate propitiation for our sins. Jesus is our mercy seat! He is our location of grace. He cleanses us from our sins and because he gave his life we have the opportunity to live with him forever. In a land with no dieing, no sickness, no pain, no crying, no heartache, no hurt. All is peace forever more on that happy golden shore... what a day, glorious day that will be!

~

Romans 3:25-26
Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God;
To declare, I say, at this time his righteousness: that he might be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in Jesus.

~

Hebrews 9
Then verily the first covenant had also ordinances of divine service, and a worldly sanctuary.
For there was a tabernacle made; the first, wherein was the candlestick, and the table, and the shewbread; which is called the sanctuary.
And after the second veil, the tabernacle which is called the Holiest of all;
Which had the golden censer, and the ark of the covenant overlaid round about with gold, wherein was the golden pot that had manna, and Aaron's rod that budded, and the tables of the covenant;
And over it the cherubims of glory shadowing the mercyseat; of which we cannot now speak particularly.
Now when these things were thus ordained, the priests went always into the first tabernacle, accomplishing the service of God.
But into the second went the high priest alone once every year, not without blood, which he offered for himself, and for the errors of the people:
The Holy Ghost this signifying, that the way into the holiest of all was not yet made manifest, while as the first tabernacle was yet standing:
Which was a figure for the time then present, in which were offered both gifts and sacrifices, that could not make him that did the service perfect, as pertaining to the conscience;
Which stood only in meats and drinks, and divers washings, and carnal ordinances, imposed on them until the time of reformation.
But Christ being come an high priest of good things to come, by a greater and more perfect tabernacle, not made with hands, that is to say, not of this building;
Neither by the blood of goats and calves, but by his own blood he entered in once into the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption for us.
For if the blood of bulls and of goats, and the ashes of an heifer sprinkling the unclean, sanctifieth to the purifying of the flesh:
How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?
And for this cause he is the mediator of the new testament, that by means of death, for the redemption of the transgressions that were under the first testament, they which are called might receive the promise of eternal inheritance.
For where a testament is, there must also of necessity be the death of the testator.
For a testament is of force after men are dead: otherwise it is of no strength at all while the testator liveth.
Whereupon neither the first testament was dedicated without blood.
For when Moses had spoken every precept to all the people according to the law, he took the blood of calves and of goats, with water, and scarlet wool, and hyssop, and sprinkled both the book, and all the people,
Saying, This is the blood of the testament which God hath enjoined unto you.
Moreover he sprinkled with blood both the tabernacle, and all the vessels of the ministry.
And almost all things are by the law purged with blood; and without shedding of blood is no remission.
It was therefore necessary that the patterns of things in the heavens should be purified with these; but the heavenly things themselves with better sacrifices than these.
For Christ is not entered into the holy places made with hands, which are the figures of the true; but into heaven itself, now to appear in the presence of God for us:
Nor yet that he should offer himself often, as the high priest entereth into the holy place every year with blood of others;
For then must he often have suffered since the foundation of the world: but now once in the end of the world hath he appeared to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself.
And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment:
So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation.

~

Wikipedia says that mercy(price paid, wages) is a word used to describe compassion shown by one person to another, or a request from one person to another to be shown such leniency or unwarranted compassion for a crime or wrongdoing. I am so thankful for Christ's unwarranted compassion toward me. He didn't have to love me, but he did. He loved me with a love like I have never known. I am going to end this with the words to 'What a Friend we have in Jesus.' It has always been a beautiful song, but lately it has a whole new meaning to me. He is my best friend and always has been... even when I didn't see it. He is the answer to loneliness, depression, sadness and hurt. Whatever you are seeking, He is the only answer. He is my strength, my shield, and my happiness. The best thing of all He is my best friend and he can be yours too.

~

What A Friend We Have In Jesus

~
What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!

What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!

O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,

All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

~
Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?

We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?

Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

~
Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?

Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.

Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!

In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.

~LOVE~

There is nothing better to compare my life to than God's word. There are people in my life who have been awesome examples and have helped me get to where I am today, but the one I am striving to be more like is Jesus and the only way to get there is to hide HIS word in my heart.

~

Luke 10:27
And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

~

Matthew 25:34-46

Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:
For I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink:
I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.
Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?
Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.
And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.

~

John 15:12-17

This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.
Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.
Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.
These things I command you, that ye love one another.

~

Lord, I want to be more like you. I want to be a vessel you work thru, Lord, I want to be more like you.

~My Heart~

I just want to worship him. I want to fall in love with Him over and over and over again. With 3 boys ages 3 and under, I have to be honest, sometimes I wonder why I got dressed and went to church because I have spent the whole service either saying No, No, shhhh, be still, changing diapers and taking the oldest to the bathroom, running out as fast as I can when the get too loud because I don't want to interrupt the entire service or that last and great thing of trying to get ME out of the way. And all my soul wants is a little time to really worship my Savior. So, why do I go? Because I know that even though I may feel like I have missed the entire service, I haven't. There is something in every service that will stick with me, even if I am unaware of it getting in there. And my babies need to be there. My middle son reminded me just this past Sunday night that even though I think he has no idea what is going on... things are sticking with him too! In the middle of one of my Shhhhs, dad said Amen to his prayer and my son looked up and said Amen! :)

You see, the thing I have to remember is that I haven't always even had that desire to worship Jesus. Especially that longing from inside that seems to already be worshipping when I feel like I just need that worship time. And while I want to worship from the outside too, (I do get to at times), God sees my heart. My heart of worship. I am thankful that he is my heart's desire and that I have that longing to worship and to be in the house of the Lord.

~

As the deer panteth for the water

So my soul longeth after you

You alone are my heart's desire

And I long to worship you

You alone are my strength, my shield

To you alone may my spirit yield

You alone are my heart's desire

And I long to worship you

~

Psalm 27:4-5

One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple. For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.

~

I was glad when they said unto me, let us go to the house of the Lord.

There is peace, sweet peace

There is peace in the house of the Lord.

I was glad when they said unto me, let us to to the house of the Lord.

There is love, true love

There is love in the house of the Lord.

I was glad when they said unto me, let us go to the house of the Lord.

There is hope, our only hope

There is hope in the house of the Lord.

~Claim It~

2 Timothy 1:7
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

~His Love~

I know it seems like I keep dwelling on this 'love' thing, but it is what keeps me going. It amazes me. It picks me up when I am down. This love that God has for his children. When I am going through storms and little mole hills, if I just remind myself of the love that God has for me, it keeps my head above water. I listen to a song that says:

~

How many times must I prove how much I love you? How many ways must my love for you I show? How many times must I rescue you from trouble for you to know just how much I love you?

~

Didn't I wake you up this morning? You were clothed in your right mind and when you walked upon a problem, didn't I step in right on time. When you were weak along life's journey, my angels carried you. So that you would know just how much I love you.

~

How many days must I be a fence around you? And how many nights must I wipe your tears away? How many storms must I bring you safely through, so that you would know just how much I love you.

~

Didn't I put food upon your table? Show up when the bills were due. And when pain was wracking your body, didn't I bring healing down to you. When you were lost in sin and sorrow, I died just to set you free, so you would know just how much I love you.

~

We have love for our children, families, friends, and the list goes on, but none of those even come close to the love that our Heavenly father has for us. I am so thankful for his love. It moves the inner most parts of my soul. He knows me, all of me, the good and the bad and he still loves me. If in this life he never moved for me (and he has) just the fact that God sent his only begotten Son to this sinful world to be a sacrifice for the sins of every person shows LOVE. The fact that Jesus died and then arose from the grave just so we wouldn't have to spend eternity in everlasting torment, that in itself is more than we could ever deserve. HIS MERCY ENDURETH FOREVER!

~~~

Proverbs 10:12

Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.

1 John 4:7-12

Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God: and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.

~I Love Jesus~

My Testimony

I grew up in church. I saw many things while growing up in church that never left my life quite the same . . . wonderful things that touched the lives of many and changed many lives for the good. When I turned 18 I went my own way and church was no longer a priority in my life. Choices that I made in those years made my life harder than it ever had to be. Unfortunately, I learned that the hard way. I know not a day went by that my family didn’t pray for me and ask God to keep me and bring me back to Him. God answers prayers!
After getting out on my own I made decisions that brought sadness and emptiness to my life. I lost the joy that God had given me. I would pop into church here and there and at times feel like I had the determination to do what was right. I would pray and start going to church more regular, but my life outside of the church was still the same. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to rise above the situation I had allowed myself to fall into. I would get frustrated with my failures and give up. Knowing deep down I would never be able to do it on my own, but not quite to the point of grasping what that really meant.
It was about two years ago at a tent revival that I can look back on and see how God started changing my life. I had come to the end of my rope. The situation that I had wanted so badly to rise above had pulled me down physically and mentally and I couldn’t take anymore. I went to the alter that night and I cried out like I have never cried out to God before. I told Him that I had tried many times on my own and fell flat on my face every time. I wanted a better life and I wanted to do what was right, but my desire for the things of this world had not let go. I told God that He would have to be the one to change my desires and change my situation because I could not do it on my own. Not long after saying those words to God, the preacher prayed for me and then told me that he could see me sitting in my house telling God that I just wanted to be happy . . . why couldn’t I just be happy. He also told me that night there would be a change in my life. I wouldn’t be the same. I had told no one, but God knew. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I sat on the couch in my house and just looked up in tears and literally said out loud “Why can’t I just be happy. I just want to be happy.” I was miserable and the hardest part to deal with was my decisions had made me this way.
I cannot tell you how many times I have thought back to that night. No, my life has not been anywhere close to perfect since that night, but God has continued to move despite my failures. It was the following January that I was finally able to leave the situation I was in . . . it had to be God because I had tried many times before and fell right back into it. That February I ran into who is now my husband and best friend. He made sure that we came to church every Sunday night. Things in my life still were not the way that I knew they should have been, but God was making me new.
Eddie and I would talk about church and the different messages we would hear. I told my husband several times that no matter what was going on, even though my life wasn’t the way it should have been when I would go to church I felt peace. There was nothing else we would do that even came close to that peace. Sister Becky Trammel was at the church one weekend and I had really been ministered to by the sermons she had preached. Even the songs that were sung got down deep in my soul and I could feel God’s presence. It was after church one of those nights that I looked at Eddie and said, “You know that peace that we feel when we go to church? Why can’t I just feel that all the time?” His response was, “We can.” It was that simple. We could feel that peace all the time.
I look back now and not only did God bring me from my rock bottom, but He has changed my desires. Not saying temptations don’t come my way, but the desire to do the things that this world offers, the things that bring you down lower than you ever want to go . . . that desire is gone. I look at things differently now. I miss church and I can’t help but wonder what I have missed. My dad has even preach a sermon saying “Sin will take you further than you want to go and make you pay more than you are willing to pay.” I cannot think of a truer statement. The greatest miracle is that God can turn it all around, all we have to do it ask.
Psalms 4
Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness; Thou has enlarged me when I was in distress; have mercy upon me, an hear my prayer. O ye sons of men, how long will ye turn my glory into shame? How long will ye love vanity, and seek after leasing? But know that the Lord hath set him that is godly for himself: the Lord will hear when I call unto him. Stand in awe, and sin not; commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the Lord. There be many that say Who will shew us any good? Lord, lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon us. Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time that their corn and their wine increased. I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, Lord only makest me dwell in safety.

Proverbs 3:25-26
Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked, when it cometh.
For the Lord shall be thy confidence, and shall keep they foot from being taken.


He Will Make A Way
God will make a way where there seems to be no way.
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to his side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way for me