~Make Me~

I don't have an exact topic for this post.  I don't even really know where I'll end up going with it.  I've just had this desire, longing ... this 'something' in me that knows there is something more that I should be doing or walking into.  I don't know what it is, but I know I haven't got there yet. 

I know I've said it in a previous post, but the song on here 'My Heart, Your Home' is one of my favorite songs. 

Come and make my heart your home

Come and be everything I am and all I know

Search me through and through

Till my heart becomes a home for you

A home for you

A home for you

Let everything I do

Open up a door for you to come through

And that my heart will be a place where you want to be

I have a new favorite to add to my spiritual anthems and that is a song that was sung at the ladies retreat this past year, 'Let It Rain.'  The words say,

Let it rain

Let if fall from heaven

Let it rain

To revive my soul

I need your rain

I need your streams of refreshing

Until I thirst no more.

I would say those two songs sum me up right now.  I just need more of Jesus.  I want Him satisfied with me.  I want to please him and to know that he is proud of me.  I am thirsty for things that I know this world cannot give.  Jesus is the only one who truly completes me.  Jesus brings my happiness, my strength to go on ... he brings everything!  He is the very reason I exist, so why would he not be the one who sustains my ways.

I was reading in Genesis the other day about the terms to God's promise to Abraham.  He told Abraham, 'I am the Almighty God; walk before me, and be thou perfect.  And I will make a covenant between me and thee and will multiply thee exceedingly.' (17:1&2)  Abraham's name before this covenant was Abram.  God changed his name.  He gave him a new name, Abraham, which meant father of many nations.  One of the things Abraham had to do on his end was to circumcise every man child in his generations, whether he was born in his house or bought with money.  If the man child was to be a part of Abraham's family he had to be circumcised.  The circumcision was a sign of obedience to God in all matters.  A sign of belonging to God's covenant people.  A sign of 'cutting off' the old life of sin, purifying the heart and completely giving yourself to God.

I feel like there are places in our lives where God circumcises us.  He is taking off the old Adam nature and drawing us closer to himself.  He is making his mark on our lives to separate us from the world and showing that we belong to him. 

I feel like that is where I am in my life right now.  I can't say that it is an easy thing.  Not that I've been required to do something that I am not able to or that anything is even really disrupted in my life at this moment.  It's a soul thing.  Something I don't truly know how to explain.  It's something happening way down inside. 

I just finished reading Hinds Feet on High Places.  I heard about the book a couple years ago and just got around to reading it and all I can say is, God's timing is perfect.  I could relate in many ways.  I had my little highlighter out marking phrases and paragraphs and verses that seemed to fit so perfectly to how I feel.  We are on a journey and we have traits and habits that are not part of who we are meant to be.  And in His own way our Good Shepherd leads us and changes us all along the way.  He does it in ways that sometimes we don't even notice and other times there is effort and maybe even some agony on our part, but it is all bringing us to that place where God wants us to be... a place where we can be used by Him to help others find their way.  We are working on getting our new name.  Where we were once Much-Afraid, Sorrow or Suffering, the King of Love will change us to Grace and Glory, Peace or Joy.  Our part is to yield ourselves to Jesus ... no matter the circumstances or how we feel, we must trust Him.  He is making us new!

~The dreaded VIRUS~

So the dreaded stomach bug hit our house this week. It all started Sunday night at church when Andrew decided to baptize Thomas and me. My husband and I kept hoping it was just something he ate and not something we would all end up sharing. I held Andrew as close as I could to comfort him. I was thrown up on. I did my best to clean up after him and disinfect anything he touched. I took every precaution I knew to take to try to keep myself and those around me from getting it. I did my best, but the fact of the matter was that we were all exposed to it first hand and everyone except for Zach (so far) ended up getting it. The dreaded virus!! UGH!!!! Andrew is all better now, I’m still feeling a little queasy, but much better than I did yesterday. Thomas and Lee are still questionable.

I was thinking this morning about how this nasty virus could be compared to sin. Sin is much the same and just as nasty. We have every intention of trying to be a help or think that we can ‘clean up’ after someone and no one else feel the effect of it; or that it won't rub off on us because we are stronger than that. We hug it up thinking they will turn around or that we can be that influence that stops it. Maybe we try to convince ourselves that it isn’t really sin. We have this false illusion that we can stay around it and not be influenced by it. Then one day we wake up and it has not only engulfed our life, but also affected those that love us. It has taken over with a vengeance.

The Bible gives us strong warning about all sin, it tells us what sin is and the things that God hates. It goes so far to say in James 4:17, ‘to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is a sin.’ It tells us to ‘abstain from all appearance of evil’ (1 Thessalonians 5:22), to come out and be separate, touch not the unclean thing (2 Corinthians 6:17). In another place it tells us that if anyone comes with another doctrine not to even bid it in under our roof (2 John 1:10). Romans 6:13 tells us not to yield our members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin, but to yield ourselves to God. 2 Thessalonians 3 tells us to withdraw ourselves from ‘every brother that walketh disorderly’ (6) and if any be disobedient, ‘note that man, and have no company with him.’ The Bible does not warn us for nothing. Sin is a very serious thing and it’s end is destruction.

Jesus died on the cross, a cruel death, and then rose on the 3rd day so that we could make heaven our home. He said Not my will Lord, but thine be done.  This journey isn't all about what we want, it's about what God wants for our lives.  Jesus came so that we could be free from sin. We may not be perfect yet, but we are working toward perfection. If we yield ourselves to God we will not walk in sin.  Lord, help me to fully walk in your will. Keep me free from sin and full of you. Righteousness is what I long for and it’s what I need!

Ephesians 4:8-16

Wherefore he saith, When he ascended up on high, he led captivity captive, and gave gifts unto men. (Now that he ascended, what is it but that he also descended first into the lower parts of the earth? He that descended is the same also that ascended up far above the heavens, that he might fill all things.)

And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; for the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: Till we all come in the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ: that henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; but speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: from whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.

Romans 6

What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein? Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death? Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection: knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin. For he that is dead is freed from sin.

Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him: knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him. For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God.

Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord. Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Niether yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God. For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.

What then? Shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid. Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness? But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness.

I speak after the manner of men because of the infirmity of your flesh: for as ye have yielded your members servants to uncleanness and to iniquity unto iniquity; even so now yield your members servants to righteousness unto holiness.

For when ye were the servants of sin, ye were free from righteousness. What fruit had ye then in those things whereof ye are now ashamed: for the end of those things is death. But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life. For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

~I've Got So Much To Thank Him For~

Well, I have officially turned the big 30!  I cannot get over the fact that 30 years of my life have already passed.  Time goes by too quickly.  God has been so good to me.  He has watched over me when I didn't watch out for myself.  He picked me up turned me around and placed my feet on solid ground.  He has given me a wonderful family.  An amazing husband and 3 handsome little guys that call me Mommy.  He has given me wonderful friends.  I've not gone without a roof over my head, clothes to wear or food to eat.  He put my broken life back together and gave me a desire for Him like I've never known.  He has shown me love beyond measure and I could never thank him enough.

I have to admit that I cried most of the morning yesterday.  The first couple people who called to wish me a happy birthday ended up hearing me cry.  I ended up shutting myself in the bathroom for a few minutes to try to get over myself.  It isn't the getting older part that bothers me so much.  I am very thankful for another year.  It's the part where my life will not always be the way it is today and I will not always have everyone that is in my life at this moment.  It overwhelmed me yesterday.  Obviously, I cannot control any of that and I shouldn't be letting those thoughts consume me.  For all I know Jesus will return and I will never have to be without anyone.  Allowing those thoughts to take over keeps me from enjoying the what I do have and the time we have together.  It's no wonder God tells us to take no thought for tomorrow.  He has got it all under control and he knows just what we need.  In the midst of my blubbering yesterday, I felt like God whispered so sweetly to me, 'That's when I will be even more real to you.'  Isn't that what he does, he whispers sweet peace! 

My 30th birthday turned out to be the best birthday ever.  My family called wishing me a happy birthday through out the day, even my Great Grandma.  Talk about melting your heart!  I was looking forward to having pizza and cake with my husband, my boys and a couple of my wonderful friends and I did.  In addition to those people, my house was filled with my family and my in laws (my wonderful enlarged family).  My husband gave me the best surprise ever, an afternoon surrounded by those who love me and I love so so so much!  Thank you Lord for ALL of your blessings on me! 

Matthew 6:34

Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Luke 12:22-32

And he said unto his disciples, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on. The life is more than meat, and the body is more than raiment. Consider the ravens: for they neither sow nor reap; which neither have storehouse nor barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fowls? And which of you with taking thought can add to his stature one cubit? If ye then be not able to do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest?

Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith? And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind. For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things. But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you. Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

~Pressing On~

I have allowed the devil to beat me up long enough about my past. When I first rededicated my life to Jesus, I struggled with the shame, the hurt and the fears of my past. I’d finally get to a point that I felt like I was starting to conquer and it would haunt my dreams. I had nightmares on and off for a good year if not more. I prayed and prayed about it and finally God replaced those nightmares. I started having dreams where I saw myself being filled with the Holy Ghost; dreams that woke me up with a hunger to want to know my Jesus more. Talk about feeling on top of the world. I just knew my past would not haunt me anymore.

This past year I had a slap in the face of that person I used to be. This reminder showed up in my place of refuge. I kept praying that God would help me. The thought of I who I was makes me sick. That is not who I am. Sin makes you become something/someone you are not meant to be. God does not throw our past in our face. Once we ask his forgiveness, he truly forgives and does not remember it against us.

I’ve recently had another part of my past brought to my attention (as if I don’t know it). My running from God caused hurt to my family, myself and to all those who love me. I am in no way proud of that and I am fully aware of it. My family knows more about me, my past and my present than anyone. They have stayed by my side through the hurt and shame that my choices brought.

When I first started back to church I did not over night become a sold out Christian. My husband made a point for us to go because he knew it made my parents happy. However, even though I wasn’t fully aware at the time – I was being changed. You cannot continually stay in the presence of God and not be changed. It took a couple years for me to fully surrender my life (all that I knew to surrender). I now know it is a daily surrendering to Jesus.

I may have got a slow start, but you’ve come far too late to change my mind or turn me around. God has done too much for me and has been OH SO real to me. Sin is WRONG. It was wrong for me to run from God and to walk in sin. Sin is wrong when I do it and it is wrong when you do it. None of my sinful past was God’s will for my life. I’m so ashamed and I would change it if I could, but I can’t. I CAN change today, tomorrow and the rest of my life. I am ever so thankful that Jesus changed me. I am thankful for HIS forgiveness and I am thankful that he has changed my desires. I am a work in progress. God will continue to mold me until he calls me home. I know he will because I have committed my life to Him- I am His. He bought me with a precious price.

So, it seems that in one way or another, the devil will try to remind me of my past. I think it’s because he is scared of his future. I know my sins are covered by the blood of Jesus. My past can hinder me no more than I will allow it. So, whether it is dreams, confronting it or people reminding me, it is still just that- the PAST. It is not who I am and I will not allow it to determine my future. I am a child of the King and I am looking to walk into everything He has for me. My goal is to please Jesus. He holds my life in his hand and heaven will be my home.

If you struggle with the devil reminding you of your past, I pray this post helps you become more determined to keep walking with Jesus. Don’t let that devil ride! We will overcome. Let it be a reminder to keep your head up because you are a child of the King. God has great things is store for his children, don’t allow your past to keep you from your future in Christ. We have been bought with a price and washed in the blood of the Lamb.

Philippians 3:12-14

Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.