The Battle

“The weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;
Casting Down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;”
II Corinthians 10:4-5

For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23 Man, does that ring in my ears. It seems that the more I feel I become determined on this walk, there is a fall sure to follow. Not because it has to happen, but because I start depending on myself to overcome sin. It is not me, but Christ in me the hope of glory.

I struggle major battles of the mind. I can feel on top of the highest mountain one day and the next day feel like I have lost my salvation and that I am an utter failure. Why would God want me? A verse in my devotional the other day hit me between the eyes, sent chills down my spine and brought tears to my eyes. Ephesians 2:8 “For by grace are we saved through faith; and not of yourselves: it is the gift of God.” I have heard this verse before, but it has never hit me the way it did that day. I so need Jesus to lead this walk. I need his grace and I claim his gift!

I get so caught up on a list of dos and don’ts that I get my eye off the purpose. Not that the works are not important, but we have to understand that if we are walking with Jesus and we keep refreshing our walk daily with his word and in conversation with him, he will change what needs to be changed. If we continually put in what is clean, there will be no room for the filth. Dad has said that time and time again.

One battle I faced was that I could not get everything I need from my church. The devil started telling me that I had all of these unrealistic expectations to have to live up to because I was a preacher’s daughter. That I could never tell what God has really done for me because I would be an embarrassment to my parents and I would cause those who have watched me grow up look down on me. I fed right into every word.

I decided that I would go to this group meeting with a friend of mine. There would be no expectations. No one would know me and I could give God all the glory for what he has truly done for me. It even sounds ridiculous to say it now! Well, I went. I made excuses for how they didn't believe certain things that are foundational to me. Then the group leader said that the small group meeting was more important than church and I could look past that because I was going to get so much and get such a touch from going somewhere other than my church. What a joke! I got my devotional from the group meeting and what is my 5th devotion question? “How devoted are you to your church family?” Did that cut like a knife, or what!

All the time I am wondering why I can’t rise about this battle I am having in my mind. I have been ‘fighting’ this battle for a couple weeks. I just couldn’t seem to get it. Here I am listening to the devil. Running from my church family. The place where I know the truth is and God gently rebukes me with the very thing I am trying to run with. How devoted are you to your church family? I had to repent.

It was right in front of me the whole time. I had been neglecting my prayer life and my Bible reading. I was listening and feeding every excuse that crossed my mind. I was allowing myself to become defeated when God has told me that I am an over comer. All I had to do was come to my church during a revival with Brother Mike Ferree. For 2 nights he preached on spirits that are there to destroy. All the way down to the examples of what the devil tells you, it was my battle. Just showing up could have prevented my battle. Instead weeks after Brother Ferree had been to my church, I hear the CD and finally find my answer.

How many blessings do we miss out on because we listen to the excuses that the devil places in our mind? Romans 15:29 “And I am sure that, when I come unto you, I shall come in the fullness of the blessing of the gospel of Christ.” We are going to have battles, without a doubt. Why create extra ones that just a closer walk with Jesus could prevent. Just a closer walk with Jesus, that is what we need . . . a closer walk with Jesus.