Behold, the eye of the Lord is upon them that fear him, upon them that hope in his mercy; to deliver their soul from death, and to keep them alive in famine. Our soul waiteth for the Lord: he is our help and our shield. For our heart shall rejoice in him, because we have trusted in his holy name. Let thy mercy, O Lord, be upon us, according as we hope in thee.
~Search Me~
The church was full. People just kept coming in… that is a great thing, right? It was so weird in this case though; these people were coming in and taking over. Trying to make wrong okay in the house of God. There was no reverence, no respect, and no conviction. And most of the church people were just sitting back and allowing it to happen. A lady on the row behind me decided she was going to take a nap and stretched out on the row making people have to move to make room for her to sleep during service. A lady on the row in front of me was smoking during service. There were people causing disturbances everywhere. Then I look and this group gets up to sing and the lead singer wants to sing without her shirt on! Someone finally tells her that she just can’t, she has to keep her clothes on, but she is still allowed to sing. They begin singing some off the wall song and a majority of the church loves it. The piano player gets up and goes out because she just can’t take it anymore. The preacher stands up and tries to bring correction and point people in the right direction, but I look over and a woman is telling me I need to talk to him (the preacher), that I need to make him change his mind about what he is saying. The only thing I know to do is pray. Pray for these people and for God’s mercy because I am terrified that God is going to bring judgment and in my mind it is well deserved. I ran to the back of the church fell on my knees and cried out to God.
That is the dream I had a few weeks ago. I have wrestled back and forth in my mind about sharing it. I dream crazy stuff all the time and since I have been pregnant this time, the dreams have only become crazier! But, this dream made me think. It made me think a lot. One day it may come to something like this or maybe it is like this in some churches now, I don’t know. I do know that the generations that came before us would have never thought that America would be standing for some of the things it stands for today. And if major wrongs have been made okay in our country, I don't think it is that far fetched for it to happen in the church also. I also know that it has caused me to search my heart. And isn't that what this walk is about? Continually searching ourselves with the goal of becoming more like Jesus. May I always feel God’s conviction and know right from wrong. God sees everything and grant it I am not sitting in church smoking or trying to make wrong okay, but those little things in my heart like ill feelings toward my neighbor, being self absorbed, not obeying what God wants for my life or any number of things can look just as disgusting to him. We have different degrees of sin, but to God sin is sin. So, my prayer is that God create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. What would I do without Jesus?
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